Norway has one of the most generous parental leave policies in the world and, for a while, it wasn’t working.
They offered paid time off for both parents. In theory, it was equitable. In practice, mothers took the leave, and fathers largely didn’t. Despite the benefit being there (fully paid and culturally acceptable) uptake from dads stayed low.
So the government tried something different. Instead of just offering leave, they structured it.
They created what’s now called the “father’s quota”: a portion of parental leave that only the father could use. If he didn’t take it, that time didn’t roll over to the mother. It simply disappeared.
And it worked.
Fathers went from being occasional participants to nearly universal ones. Today, more than 90% of eligible dads in Norway take their leave — not because they were shamed into it, but because the policy made it feel foolish not to.
It became part of the expectation; not just a benefit, but a cultural norm. And it didn’t happen through motivational speeches or posters in break rooms. It happened because the system was designed to be used.
I think about this a lot when I look at how leaders run their teams because the same mistake shows up in business all the time. We offer great things — coaching support, education stipends, bonus structures, mental health days — and then we wonder why no one’s using them.
We chalk it up to burnout. Or apathy. Or lack of initiative. But usually? It’s just bad design.
We offer support the way Norway used to offer paternity leave: as a quiet option in a busy world. Something that sounds great in theory, but doesn’t feel automatic in practice.
And so it gets skipped. Not out of defiance, but just out of inertia.
The lesson here is simple: good things only work if people actually use them. And people use them when the system makes it easier to say yes than no.
So if you’re trying to create better outcomes on your team, like more growth, more balance, more retention, the question isn’t “what can I offer?” It’s “how can I build this in so that not using it feels like a miss?”
That might look like:
- Baking coaching sessions into onboarding and quarterly planning, instead of offering them “when needed.”
- Structuring your wellness days into the calendar ahead of time, rather than leaving them open-ended.
- Tying training or continuing education to raises or bonuses, so that development is rewarded, not optional.
- Setting thresholds for PTO that require usage, not just accrual.
This isn’t about forcing anyone’s hand. It’s about making good things easier to use and harder to ignore.
When your team sees the benefit as built-in, not bolted on, everything shifts. They don’t need a push. They need a system that expects their participation.
And that expectation creates culture.
So if you’re looking to lead better, not just manage tasks, but build a team people want to stay on, don’t just offer support – Structure it. Make it clear, visible, and time-bound. And make it feel a little bit foolish to skip.