Last year on the way home from a convention, I was stopped in a TSA line by a former team leader. As we caught up, she said something that stopped me in my tracks: “You’ve really curated your life.”
That word—curated—stuck with me. It perfectly describes what I’ve been working toward for years: shaping my life with care and intention. This week, as I celebrate 16 years of sobriety (🤯) on January 9th, it feels like the right time to reflect on the role that sobriety has played in curating my life—and why it’s never too late to start making intentional choices.
Sobriety: The Step I Didn’t Want to Take
When I got sober, I didn’t do it gracefully. I did it kicking and screaming. Truthfully, I didn’t want to get sober. The idea of giving up the life I knew—even though it was killing me—felt impossible. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was.
So, I took the first step. Reluctantly. Not because I was ready, but because I had no other choice. That step wasn’t the end of the struggle, but it was the beginning of clarity. Over time, I started to see what was possible when I let go of what no longer served me.
Sobriety wasn’t a decision I made with excitement or certainty. It was the foundation that allowed me to build a life that feels true to me today. But getting clean was just the beginning. Over the years, there have been other pivotal—and sometimes equally difficult—choices that have shaped the life I have now.
What It Means to Curate Your Life
Curating your life isn’t about perfection. It’s about making deliberate choices—sometimes hard, reluctant ones—that move you toward a life that feels meaningful. For me, it’s meant:
Sobriety: Sixteen years ago, sobriety became the first intentional step toward curating a life that feels like mine. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it, and has been the smallest domino in a chain reaction of intentional living.
Choosing My Home Life: Sobriety gave me the courage to leave behind a life that looked good on the outside but didn’t feel right. A wrong career, a home in the wrong state – hell, the wrong marriage. Starting fresh allowed me to create a home filled with love, laughter, and authenticity.
How I Spend My Time: Time is finite. Life has taught me to protect mine fiercely, nurturing what matters most and letting go of what doesn’t align with my values. I’m the only person who can determine if my time is being spent in a worthy way, so I choose to reject others’ standards and embrace my own.
Sixteen Years of Reluctant, Small Steps
When I think back on the past 16 years, the progress isn’t fast or flashy. It started with one hard step, followed by another. Sobriety taught me that every choice—no matter how small or unwilling it feels—matters.
Setting a boundary, saying no to what drains you, or starting a new habit might not feel transformative in the moment. But over time, those choices add up to something extraordinary.
You Hold the Power to Change
That conversation in the TSA line reminded me: the life I have today didn’t happen by accident. It was built, step by step, over years of deliberate, often reluctant choices. Sobriety was my first step, and it’s never too late to take yours.
If you don’t like the way your life looks, you can start curating it—today. Even the smallest action can move you toward a life you never thought possible.
You’re only five years away from something incredible.
What will you choose today?